new leaf

Isn't it more of an overthrown flower, instead?

Anyway, I am glad that finally, my site looks shiny and new. It took me a long time to find a three-column template which would suit the title of my blog better. Well, of course, there are still the old ones, but most of it would be something this page couldn't do without.

Happy about the changes. Looking forward to finding more of myself as I blog on.

from france to spain

“I wished I were there with someone who could bring peace to my heart. Someone with whom I could spend a little time without being afraid that I would lose him the next day. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we'd know we had the rest of our lives together for conversation. I wouldn't have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.”

-an excerpt from By the River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept

Time is still and none but the silence of the outside noise awakened me. I tried going back to my day sleep, but none drools me like the night. I wished I could hide away the confusion and cover it with the blanket that I used to cover myself when I am cold.

Yes, that elusive peace that I deserve and the search for it is haunting me again - the peace that I longed to have with someone. I had a glimpse of that few weeks ago. Winding roads, dark and foggy, I have held the hands that secured me and whose heart is as restless and trapped as I am.

I expected to be unpretty. I expected to be jealous. I expected for demands over and under the linens. I expected to be on my own. Never did it cross my mind that I will be wrong. For all along, I was carried over to cross the concrete river. I could only hear the applause of the angels behind us.

I had my introduction to gambling. Yet, I never felt like it was all a risk. I was never a big better so I did just fine having fun with the little tugs and warm encouragements that was banked on me. I will never trade the soft kiss for a slot machine jackpot.

Surely, there are no repeats. There’s always everyday to look forward to, anyway.

mad girl's love song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

by Sylvia Plath

For Melody, who's mad as ever...but a girl? That's better left in question. Hehehe!Just kidding my dear Melody fair...you are just more man that those substance abusers who couldn't even face their fears. Go girl. Sing the maddest love song, for I know in the end, you will have the loudest laugh.

candyman on the loose

"Nothing stings more than to strain your lungs away to sing to someone who wants to sing your song to someone else."

-a text message fron Tonette, 12:57am, 29th January 2008

(Sharing half of the camera with Tonette)

To those who were fooled
by his sweet talk and caring gestures:

You are not alone.
We are all victims of the truth
that he is such a conqueror.
And we have made ourselves
qualified for seduction...
voluntarily.

Here's the deal fellas:
he would bloat your stomach,
levitate your heart
and creep into your pants.

He will do all these
as fast and furious as he can,
because tomorrow
he will be gone.

just this

Yesterday, i had the worst day and the best cry. It was an extraodinary day, indeed, because it will never happen again. I never felt drowned and floating at the same time. I was just - heartbroken.

looking alike

Just trying my luck of finding my long lost siblings!

dying of stiff neck

Ugh. My neck hurts like hell! Perhaps, I am still adjusting to the waves of the waterbed. It's theraputic but just like all others, it needs a little getting used to. Perhaps, I will feel its comfort - soon.

Been eating a lot of pork lately...too early for hypertension...

10 Things to do before I die:

1. Keep my things in order.
2. Compile all my pictures in my PC in one folder - in memory of me...or make my own slideshow.
3.Arrange my funeral theme - make it magical and enchanting.
4. Have a complete family dinner.
5. Get my dogs lots of shampoos and leashes until they come of age that they do not destroy their leashes anymore, and walk them during my last 10 remaining nights.
6. Have a fun party with my friends.
7. Hair extensions and nail art.
8. Read a romance novel.
9. Body spa.
10. Fall in love.

He he he! Just kidding. There's a lot more, and one lifetime won't be enough.

catharsis

Hmmnnn...my recent few entries were all about my whinings about love, work and life. There are just a lot of evil spirits lurking around. Now, I have a lot to be happy about.

Finally, I am a proud mom to a bouncing baby boy!

I didn't know it was going to be a boy. I labored for him at an auction in the mall. When I finally held him in my arms, my dreams of having my own were fulfilled. He is the cutest!

Say hi to my newborn baby monkey kong, "Nonoy".

Me and my baby boy, Nonoy.


Nonoy with Tonet's baby girl, Lowlah...sweet, isn't it?